:: HongSeng ::

2005-07-01T13:51:00.000+08:00

Took from my fren's blog..

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?

Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking of her missing the final episode of your favourite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u wen out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.

When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page, u will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess. It exposes u to loneliness.

It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible.

U feel as if u are being left alone.

So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.

At the same time, ask if they miss u.

Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoid.

If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know. if u miss him/her too, tell them.

Don't let them wait.

2005-06-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Oooo.. Haven update for quite some time already.. but it doesn't really matter isn't it since it's not frequently visited by people anyway.. I'm not SPG or Xiaxue either whose blog gets so much attention everytime they wrote an entry.. Juz feeling lost for the past month or so.. On a couple of occasion, i actually updated my blog but removed it soon after.. Maybe i'm juz afraid to let people know how i think and feel.. It has been some time.. i should have gotten over it.. But then again i guess maybe not.. I know u will keep ur promise, i failed to keep mine.. Blame me if u wan to..

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Today was the registration of modules for next sem. Went to the CITS lab to do it coz Gary said its lucky there.. Pantang~~ True enuff, both me n Gary managed to get the time slots we wanted, together with weeching n tiffany.. Wun be lonely for lesson next sem.. Haha.. I need to seriously consider whether to stick with my 2 day week or spread it out more. I do quite like my timetable actually, but its 6 hrs for each day... Maybe its alittle bit packed.. Nvm... Shall see if i can manage to overload the IT module first before finalising the timetable..

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My ge result is out today too.. I got a B~~ Totally unexpected, given the fact the i only went for like 4 lectures out 12? Plus i stared at the paper for 15mins, couldn't even understand the definition of the terms inside.. Juz happy abt it.. Went to dig out the paper and the questions i attempted for the paper..

1a. Explain why the drive to establish intimacy with people is a basic part of our human nature. Compare this need for relationships to our basic need for safety and security.

1b. State concisely the negative consequences that energe when the need for intimacy is obstructed.

2a. Clarify how self-knowledge could help to promote our personal well being

2b. Enumerate 5 ways to reduce our perosnal blind spots in our daily life

2c. Explain ith examples how openess and flexibility are important factors that contribute positively to fulfilling relationships

3a. State concisely the factors that help to sustain romantic passion at the start of love relationship

3b. Why does romantic passion dissipate so rapidly? Explain why companion love tends to be more stable over the longer term

4a. Analyse how family themes operate in the family. Clarify how such themes are perpetuated down the generations

4b. Describe 4 ways to promote healthy family interaction that is free of negative triangulation

Its not a bad choice of ge if anyone of u wan something slack and able to smoke thru.. At least i managed to do that.. Its GP12, not too late to do add/drop for the ge..

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Anyway, past few days was the nbs foc seniors camp. Long time since we gathered in large groups, cheering, playing orientation games. Although its only the seniors camp, but it was still fun.. Recollecting the cheers we had last year, going through some of the games we played before.. Its all beautiful memories.. Hope the camp this year will be even better than last year' s.. I can already feel the orientation mood in me.. So looking forward to meeting the freshies next sat.. But i think we still lacking the Gavi spirit, pls pls, let us all come together to make this camp memorable for us as seniors..

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I'm so selffish.. i should tell her abt everything that had happened.. But i din.. I juz dunno how to do it.. Wat will happen after she knows? Will things change? I dunno wat she's thinking, how she feels.. Maybe i'm juz thinking too much?? I really need someone to tell me wat to do..

2005-05-31T01:46:00.000+08:00

I went for my GE lect today, after ponning the previous 2 lectures.. Trying to recall some of the things that the prof talks about.. As usual.. there's no notes again for most of the things he said, so maybe i will write abit down so that i can revise for my exams which is next week? haha..

First is associative errors.. People tend to make quick association based on only one or 2 few personality traits.. For example.. When a gal see a guy whu is kind.. she will associate and perceive that this guy will be generous and gives alot to charitytoo .. which means that he will treat everybody around him nice too.. which means that he will treat his gf well too.. which means that he will be a good husband too.. And therefore, this guy is a good catch and the gal will choose him thinking that 'hey.. this guy will make a good bf n good husband becoz he is kind'

So what that that equal to? Kind = Good husband.. It may sound absurd but it happens isn't it.. So often ppl just relate personality traits to another without realising that good traits and bad traits can and usually do exist together.. U can be good in certain things but definitely u will be inferior in others.. A person can be kind and yet selfish.. He can be nice to people but a wife-beater.. But people often fail to see this..

This is oso due to the fact that humans have a natural tendency to reject negatives ideas contradicting to his believes... For example.. Once u perceived a person to be a great guy, u will reject all the negative things abt that person.. He could have done something wrong time n time again but u will dispel that as a one time event and because the situation resulted in his action and not his personality.. N no matter wat happens, u will strongly put off all those
issues contradicting to what u perceived that person to be.... A common line will goes something like "Nah.. There must be a reason y he does that.. He not this kind of person.."

Similarly if u see a person to be bad.. whatever he does, u will just "aiyah.. its just him lah.. he's always liydat".. See the difference??

Probably thats why people always sae that first impression is important.. But if do that, u r making the biggest mistake... N if u do that, u just another of those superficial bastards.. N if u label people based on just what u think he is.. If u think a person is going to be that NICE as u sees him... then DUN REGRET it...

2005-05-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

Its 12hrs of work at suntec today.. becoz of the world book fair.. Work is getting more enjoyable recently.. N i'm not mad when i sae this k.. We had our own fun during work today... But if not becoz i promised my boss that i will work todae, i rather choose not to work todae.. Dun ask me why..

Actually i wrote a very long entry again.. but deleted everything again.. I guess some things r still meant to be kept to myself.. I dun wan to say things that will hurt other ppl..

I see alot of ppl shifting their blog.. maybe i shld shift mine too?? haha.. maybe to a really private blog..

2005-05-17T03:49:00.000+08:00

GE results r out... Ermm.. Not going to disclose my spanish results though.. N as expected, my mei must have 'prayed damn hard' last night before she sleeps.. Gotten herself an A for spanish.. I'm happy for ya too n i believe u will do well for the rest of the papers as well... Just go n pray harder.. haha.. So happy rite gal? Laughing so happily over the phone in the afternoon... *slaps*

I'm not unhappy with my results either k... Its just a GE anyway.. Like i say.. Its good enough.. Looking at the effort i put in during the exam period, couldn't expect much either.. Life is fair isn't it? U will never get the result u wan if u dun deserve it... Who will slack the whole day before an important paper? me.. Who behaves like exams are over 1 week before it actually ends with 2 papers yet to finish? me..

Maybe i should learn to pray like my mei.. Looks like it works for her all the time.. *pray**pray* for the rest of my results... Or i can choose to stick around her more often to get some of her luck.. But apparently it doesn't work when she check my spanish result for me today... Another 10 more days for the real worry..

2005-05-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

I just woke up.. ermm.. wasn't too late considering i slept at 8 am? 8 hrs of sleep. just nice.. First time went for bash until so late.. People starting to drag me out at 2 plus but the few of us still went back.. Actually we din dance anymore after that, just hang ard the place.. Left Chinablack at 4 plus i think.. Sat outside Chinablack with Limin, Alicia, kianwee n his unconscious friend until 6 am before we start to go home..

Anyway, thanks people for last night.. I know u all are concerned.. Must have given u people a shock last night.. I myself never drink that much before, not during a bash.. That glass of 'waterfall' .. 25 bucks for a glass.. Plus tequila shots (i only remembered there was 19 on the table) after that and a few jugs before that.. I think a few more shots will make me KO on the spot... Lucky i din drink that much after that.. Lemme see.. i think i spent 100 over on drinks alone? including those i treat my mei.. N did i forget to mention that i smoked 3/4 of a stick of cigarette.. My mom is going to kill me if she knows about it..

Alicia n jieying.. Thanks for just sitting ard with me at the table.. For telling me so many things.. I understand all the things that u 2 told me last night.. i remember the long long sms that jieying showed me (i wasn't drunk k).. In fact the more u all talk, the more i couldn't control myself.. Tears fell.. Its the first time i felt so helpless i guess.. Had to be comforted by 2 gals.. N of coz there's still my buddies kianwee, raine n my mei limin whu stayed around me when i need u guys..

N yupz.. I will look forward to our JB seafood trip on thurs.. Wanted to go together since last semester holidaes but never had the chance to.. No excuses not to go this time..

2005-05-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

Just read my fren's blog... I think a gal's thinking is so hard to guess n unpredictable.. She wanted more personal space, she wanted the time to think about it.. She got it all.. She got the peace and personal space she wanted.. But now it seems like she feels she is no longer desired.. She feels that the guy doesn't treat her the same way anymore.. Ironic isn't it? I'm not saying u r wrong k.. Just wondering y u will feel that way..

The best way is always to talk it out.. If u dun, he will never know wat u r thinking about.. Dun always assume he can feel wat u r thinking.. Or things will return to normal if u dun do anything about it.. It will never be the same.. Dragging on makes both parties hurt more..

2005-04-29T20:23:00.000+08:00

Yay~~~ Finally its over.. No more exam stress.. haha (not as if i'm under alot of stress anyway).. Its been a long month, stuck in hall, with my books, with cant 9 food, with my 'studies khakis'.. (we actually slack more when we gather to mug).. haha.. No more mugging for me, until the next exams n thats still far far away.. Shall not say anything about my papers, no comments.. Be it good or bad.. I have tried (maybe not my best) but thats another thing to think about 1 month down the road (results day).. haha..

2005-04-25T15:33:00.000+08:00

Just another 4 more days.. can't wait for exams to be over.. haha.. i wan to go n eat international buffet.. i wan to go east coast n skate.. I wan to go NBS foc.. I wan to do alot of things..

Someone told me afew daes ago 'I think u have changed. U r no longer the person i saw last sem. Not as happy as before.'
Then i was thinking 'Is it true?'

When i think about everything that had happened in the past 2 sem, i think wat she said was quite true maybe.. I was happier last sem.. I came to ntu with the enthusiasm.. I like what i was doing. I like the company that i'm around with.. There nothing for me to worry about.. BUT it doesn't mean that i'm unhappy this sem.. Maybe just not as happy.. Starting to get tired.. Its just the life here.. I dun like the culture here.. People are all talking about results n results.. Everybody is mugging like mad.. Morning to night to morning to night.. For wat?? For that pathetic few As.. Results may be important to start ur career but it doesn't get u FAR... It does NOT help u do better in job interviews.. Will u wan to hire a honours graduate who stammers when he speaks and dress shabbily to work?? People are short-sighted...

Taking a step back n looking at how things unfold..

2005-04-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

I not feeling good... Its just like a cycle of emotions.. U feel good for a few days then it becomes fine and now its bad... Everything was so good for the past week or so, i'm studying enough for the papers, i'm not under exam stress, I'm happy with everything as it is... Until the past few days, i realised things feel weird, maybe its just me but my feelings tell me otherwise... N everything came crashing down this morning...

Probably its a very bad time to feel this way now.. My spanish paper is tmr and i haven really study much.. I dun think i can make it thru for spanish.. Imagine failing a GE.. N i still got 3 more papers after that, its a dent to my confidence level.. Wat am i going to do..

I have always been confident in myself, with my work, and my things.. I thought i can focus on studying n not think abt anything else... Apparently i can't... Alot of things r just beyond my control.. I can't control my feelings is one.. I cannot control how ppl think of me.. I dunno how to handle the way ppl treat me.. Things are not heading the way i wan to and that makes me feel so unsettled... I just couldn't motivate myself anymore today, feel like giving up.. Everything n everything...

Its bad enough already to be in a bad mood.. But when u still have to put on a smile in front of everybody.. thats real hard... I hate to feel this way... Maybe someone can give me an answer??

What does the future hold? Will there always be a rainbow after a storm? Ppl sae 'Only time can tell' But is time really a good measure of everything? I doubt... But i'm determined to make everything work, to put everything back in place..

2005-04-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

I told myself i'm not supposed to blog.. but since i'm taking a break from my studying... might as well just write afew things down.. I'm not working as hard as i should, its far from what i did last sem.. But i cannot complain, i din work hard enough.. simple as that..

Just finished the preparation for spanish oral later in the morning.. Took us the whole day.. 3 small brains of ours, put together for a few lines of simple spanish.. Who told me spanish is easy?? Its Not...

(I know how u feel.. U have your worries.. I dun wan u to make a rash decision either.. I may seem very understanding but i have my fears as well... I will try my best.. I'm already trying.. In the end if ur choice is not me, i can only have myself to blame.. I will remember everything that i told u that night.. N my promises to u.. )

I wrote this song for U: My feelings, my fears... Not that i'm thinking so much into it now.. I just have the urge to write it down.. Something i did for u that will last forever..

拿出了日记本翻了翻到了最近的一页

写下了自己心中深深的字句安慰自己

泪流下

你名字又浮现看了看那刻美丽的时光

投下了自己心中最真的爱情没了自己

爱著你

爱上了你不是我选择的错

犹豫过伤心过

之后也不知还要怎样对待你

可能是朋友也须是情人

我勇敢接受

Chorus:

想逃避爱路过的痕迹

走向自己没有快乐的曾经

背对著爱情的降临我对不起自己

想走向爱路过的痕迹

逃避现在没有睁开的眼睛

面对著爱情的来临担心痛了自己

告诉我我该怎么做

向前害怕伤到心而背对却害怕失去你

Just follow ur heart..

Something is missing from this song... It has got no name yet.. Anyone can volunteer to give it a name..

2005-03-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

I have found out the answer i wanted to know... But still.. there r many whys in my mind...

Chances come by, chances go... If its something thats worth holding on to... I will keep praying that someday it will be by my side... I believe that day will come...

I know all of u care abt me... I'm touched by the concern u people showered on me even though u all dunno why.. I'm touched by the agar agar that was delivered to my doorstep, just to cheer me up...

I dun show out my unhappiness to other people.. Those whu know me well will realise... I will tell u if i wan to but if i dun, dun blame me coz its just me...

This will be my last entry for now... Wun be blogging anymore for the time being... My mood says i wun.. My heart says i shouldn't... The reality says i cannot... I need to start studying.. I need to get things moving before i regret when the results r out.. Till then...

2005-03-29T23:00:00.000+08:00

eXpressive: 4/10
Practical: 7/10
Physical: 4/10
Giver: 5/10

You are a RPIT--Reserved Practical Intellectual Taker.

Heh heh -- You are weirdly sexy. It doesn't take people a long time to get to know you, but people *think* it takes a long time, because you are as cool and regulated after a year as you are on a first meeting. You don't tend to date casually -- you just suddenly find yourself in long term relationships.

Your approach to conflict is your greatest asset -- it complements almost every other type. You don't express yourself or your feelings in dramatic terms, but you will speak up to those who do. You are generally calm, but capable of ramping up, and you don't give up until the issue is resolved -- this means even the hottest temper or coolest conflict-avoider can feel comfortable pursuing their satisfaction with you. And you don't hold a grudge -- you get through it, and it's done. You rock.

Sure, you like the sex. And you communicate with your partner well, so you're good at it. But it's not something you would make jokes about or bring up in polite company (not that you don't appreciate that kind of humor). You're no prude, but that's just not your style.

You'd make an excellent parent.

You enjoy food and can be a ravenous eater. A good cook will get your attention quickly.

Of the 214753 people who have taken this quiz, 5.4 % are this type.

Interesting Quiz~~

2005-03-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

I tink todae is a bad dae...

At first i wanted to go to CityLink Mall to take some photos for my marketing project which is due on fri... But when i was about to head down to town, i discoverd something wonderful... My digicam batt is FLAT!!! How wonderful!! Now i cannot do my marketing project and worse, i think i have to go down to CityLink Mall again on wed to take the photos..

So in the end, went to Marina square just to have my dinner and desert... Doing such relax things just 2 weeks before exams.. hahaha... N the amazing thing!! I got lost in marina square after that!! Someone told me to dunno walk where and in the end, we wandered around in the carpark of marina square.. Dumb rite~~ hahaha... Stupid dumbo whu brought me ard... Never trust a person when he/she sounds so confident of the route... Pig Pig Pig!!! hahaha... guess whu's the dumbo??

I think i'm quite bad at words.. So lost for words just when i needed that clear mind.. My brain n mouth can't co-ordinate... I'm not saying wat i'm thinking.. sigh.. No matter what happens.. i hope things will turn out fine.. Even if it does not turns out the way i had wish... I am contented... I do treat alot of people very well... But i oso know that there can only be room for one... Only one..

Can i turn back the clock???

2005-03-23T21:30:00.000+08:00

*phew* finally all the quizes and presentations are over... Whether i did well or not doesn't matter.. Its the aftermath.. haha.. Just feel so relax now... I think past 2 weeks have been too stressful.. I need to give myself a good break before i start to revise for the exams...

Surprisingly, i dun feel so stress over the exams, even though its less than 3 weeks away.. Maybe coz my expectations are lower this time, why aim so high when i know its not possible to achieve it.. I just hope to get thru this sem smoothly, next sem work harder.. haha

Quizes r nothing compared to the exams.. Its the last lap of the race again... Lets work hard for the exams together... So that we can have a happy holidays~~ haha...

2005-03-20T18:46:00.000+08:00

Okie.. I din go to the Food Fair at Suntec afterall... haha... Realli dun have the time.. Supposed to study yest but end up i read only 1 chap.. N i went to orchard to meet my ATEC buddies for dinner.. So there goes all the 'mei shi' that i wanted to eat... But its alrite.. I'm still happy yest..

I think its the first time we met up for dinner together after we ORDed.. Went to coffee bean at paragon after dinner, 'chop' the sofa seats and started our 'those were the daes' stories... haha... When we were still in the army, we will never think that army life is fun but yest, we just missed those daes we had together in the bunk.. The overseas experience... heart to heart talks... mahjong nights.. playstation2.. alcohol parade in bunk... Scolding by boss... Backstabing by assholes... Quarrels... Been through so much together... It wasn't exactly that smooth sailing for all of us during the 1 year plus in ATEC but still, what we kept with us is invaluable... The friendship n fond memories.. U guys just made my day!! We will meet up more often after the exams.. .

Its just quizes n presentations.. y do i feel so stress... I have been thru even more stressful days.. I shld be able to handle it.. Its just a 'one time' thing last thurs.. It wun happen again..

2005-03-19T14:18:00.000+08:00

2005-03-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

Shld i or shld i not?? I hate to think.. or maybe i just shouldn't think about it.. I dun think i'm ready for changes.. I'm afraid i'll regret..

2005-03-12T04:37:00.000+08:00

Happy BirthdAy RaiNe~!~!

Just came back from Raine's birthday celebration at Partyworld Orchard.. Not bad, I think its been quite long since our we 'buddies' have met up together (Hear this raine?).. U better meet us for dinner soon!! haha... Anyway, hope u will enjoy urself today n yupz, i think u will like the present too~~

2005-03-08T03:31:00.000+08:00

Its another late night again.. But i'm productive today, i'm starting to know whats is stats all about... haha... i believe i can do it!! Never crumble under stress~~ Thats what i learnt in the army, a calm n cool head makes me think straight... Sometimes when i tink back, army life wasn't that bad afterall huh, get to sleep early, allowance every month, and definitely not as stressful.. But i would still prefer a civilian life, best if got allowance every month..

Was looking thru the fridge and i saw this thing...

Orange with big eyes n a sweet smile~~~ Someone said this is a 'magical' orange.. haha... But where's the magic??? If its not to show me its magic, i'm going to have it for breakfast soon...

I'm going to bed already.. Another long day ahead n i'm looking forward to the movie later at night.

2005-03-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

I think i seriously need to change my lifestyle. Been sleeping very late recently, especially the past week, and ended up yawning during lessons the next day. I dun tink my body can take it anymore, and i can feel it... Flus, coughs, headaches... Its all coming to me. Can i have someone to remind me to sleep early everyday? haha..

Went to watch Howls moving castle last night with alicia n kianwee (managed to get him to go in the end). Its a nice cartoon that tells the story of an eighteen-year-old girl, Sophie, who helps out at her late father's hat shop this town, is transformed one day by the evil Witch of the Waste into an old woman. Determined to get turned back to her normal self, Sophie seeks out the help of the Wizard Howl, who has an amazing moving castle which is fueled by a fire demon named Calcifer. The rest must see the cartoon to enjoy it... I wouldn't mind watching more of this type of cartoons in the future..

Going to be busy next week...

Things to do:
Study for stats quiz
Study for acct quiz
Prepare for markting presentation
Buy Raine's pressie
Celebrating Raine's bdae at KTV
Another Ktv as demanded by alicia
Movie with andrew n co
Work during the weekend (and die for the mon quiz)

My time mangement needs to be good this week.. I dun wan to fail my quizes but i tink i will... So pls dun irritate me next week, i will get pissed.. Very pissed...

Just some thoughts...

2005-02-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

Just realised i din post anithing over the Chinese new year period... Dun feel that much of the new year mood this year, just simple decorations in my house, simple reunion dinner, with the usual dinners and gatherings at relatives' house and stuff.. Where's the firecrackers and fireworks?? The only difference is that i gambled so much more than last year.. Becoming a Du Gui~~ haha... won abit though, not a good sign maybe.. as Lishan always saes 'Du Chang De Yi Qing Chang Shi Yi'.. hahaa...

N this year's vdae is so near to Chinese new year.. Not that it much that much of a difference to me.. Din make that many gifts this year, coz i never liked to give other ppl the same things.. Gifts r mean to be special and unique to one isn't it? Tried to make some but not enuff time, broke one, 2 given late.. Not a good record huh.. No excuses either.. So sorry guys~!~

Received quite a few veri nice gifts tis year.. look at the pics below.. The marker pen is my fav.. its so cool~!~

Went to buy TOTO yest evening with Andrew and Cheryl, wanted to try our luck at the 10mil bounty, even though the chances of winning is soooo low, its still worth a try i guess... who knows.. we may just hit the jackpot.. Lifen me cheryl n xinyi all bought some numbers and as expected.. It was a claypot~~!~~ haha.. The winning numbers are 05 12 13 30 31 43 and additional number 39.. Only got 3 numbers correct but its ok.. Next year try again~~ Still hoping for my early retirement n car... hahaha..

Our claypot TOTO tixs...

just something that i was thinking about recently.. Does loving someone really means just wanting her to be happy and nothing else?? Can a person really do that? I dun think so.. Deep down in ur heart, u will always be hoping that someday he/she will come back to u..

To my fren who is feeling down, learn to let go n look ahead.. U will never be able to do it if u keep holding on to it.. Maybe i dun understand how u feel... But i believe time will help u get over it... U still have us ard... We will help u too..

'Dang Quan Shi Jie Dou Bu Li Ni Shi, Wuo Bu Hui Bu Li Ni'

The recess week is here again and that means the exams is approaching too.. I need to catch up on my work.. Alot alot.. I hope i have the time to do it..

Its Chinese New Year Eve..

2005-02-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

Some pics from the BBQ last night..

The amount of food we prepared.. All ready to start BBQin...

6 ppl tryin to start a fire.. Nope.. 2 r slackin...

Our committe... haha

eh... look whu's slackin while we r cookin...

Anyway... Its about time i go help prepare the food for steamboat dinner tonight.. haha.. Happy Chinese new year everybody!!!! Enjoy urself~!~

~~Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion~~

Monday morning....

2005-02-07T03:29:00.000+08:00

Have been sleeping very late recently, just couldn't get to sleep... So just decided to be a little bit more hardworking and read my acct textbook.. Din read much, only 1 chap... haha... Good enough i guess...

Abit bored now so i just change the music video oso, no more shania twain... Its clay Aiken now~!~ Sometimes u just wonder, 1 event could just change ur life totally.. Like how Amercican Idol changed Clay Aiken and Singapore Idol changed Taufik's life.. . hmm... when will my turn come? When will i be able to do something that i really wan to and not just because i have to do it??

Another weekend going to be over soon..

2005-02-06T04:13:00.000+08:00

Its 4 am now and i'm just done with some changes to my blog. There's a archive now at the side.. plus plus MTV screening... hahaha... Slowly figuring out html codes, quite interesting though.. Will add in somemore stuff when i have got the time.

By the way, i'm in hall now.. haha.. and if u guys r wondering why am i still in hall, especially its the week before the Chinese New Year, i'm here to finish up my undone work so that i will not feel so guilty over the festive period (i'm just joking).. haha.. So what have i done so far? I have finished my acct tut and the marketing slides on PT Martina Berto, thats about all.. Left with stats tut and i can enjoy the whole of next week.. A super long holidae frm wed to sun and yupz.. i'm not intending to be back for lesson on fri.. Dun be jealous~!~ haha..

Oh yah, forgot to mention, BBQ with some of the hall ppl coming up on mon.. Looking forward to it.. Our very first BBQ and Chinese New Year celebration together.. Will be fun i guess, plus lotsa food..

Feeling veri sleepy now.. to my bed...

~The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread ~

I'm happy today

2005-01-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling very happy today... I dunno why oso... I feel very peaceful... Maybe because i got to spend the whole day at home, had all the time to myself, to do what i wanted to do. Listening to my tao ze's songs now and browsing thru the photos in my laptop, some pics just look so funny. haha. I'm just happy today...

Guess guess whu's fingers r these?

Busy busy week..

2005-01-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

Have been real busy with sch work these days... Accounting project to be handed in on thurs, marketing presentation on fri and a accounting presentation next mon, its crazy.. Where's the little bit of time for me to do my own things?? So many things i wan to do.. and no, i'm not stressed abt that.. i'm just tired.. so tired of everything... But at least being busy helps me to put aside all my problems, even if its just temporary.

Actually there are so many things i wan to write down, over everything that have happened recently... But on second thoughts, wats the point rite.. Writing down sad things will only remind me of it everytime i see it... So i decided that i shall not write it down since everything is settled and cleared up. I'm happy that finally i have made my choice, a choice that hurts but its the best i could do... I need to carry on with my life.

(U r realli a wonderful gal.. Believe me.. Its just me. I'm not good enough for u. A last sorry is all i can say to u.)

A bell is no bell till you ring it,
A song is no song till you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn't put there to stay-
Love isn't love
Till you give it away.

An afternoon at East Coast Park....

2005-01-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

Spent the afternoon at east coast park today, went skating. Let me see.. half a yr since i last skate?? Feel rusty.. but still alright, can still move around without falling down.. I think i will go skating more often next time, the feeling of skating along east coast park is veri good... veri relaxing... Can forget the stress from sch work, all my troubles...

I promised to spend time with u.. i tried.. i hope i did.. I hope u will be happy...
(I'm sorry if i said something that i shouldn't just now. I'm sorry that i almost did something that i shouldn't. I'm sorry for everything. I know i shouldn't said that. I know i shouldn't do that. I feel so lost, lost for words. I dunno what to say. Just that i'm sorry. My tears actually dropped, lucky u din see it. For the first time for so long, i actually feel tears rolling down my cheeks.. Its just so not me..

U din't let me down.. I know u meant what u said. I realli do. I appreciate for everything that u have done. Maybe the time just wasn't right. Maybe its just not meant to be. We will always be like before. I'm sorry.)

Whats meant to be will be.. now or in the future.. Cherish wat u have now..

The end of cheerleading??

2005-01-14T02:29:00.000+08:00

Yupz... IHG cheerleading is over.. Everybody did their best and it was a good performance i felt. Started from totally nothing to having a routine like just now, it is just great... Din really like cheerleading at first but towards the end i find cheerleading quite fun, i actually enjoyed myself at practises and learning new stunts.. This past 1 month plus had been fun, lets keep this team bonded.. Hopefully this spirit keeps us going, next year try again.. (That is if everybody is going to join again).. haha...

Finally, time to settle down and start on my tutorials n project. Suddenly found out got project to hand in 2 weeks later, out of the blue... Must start catching up on my work..

If only i know wat i'm thinking then i do not need to worry... But i dun...

Beginning Of A new Sem...

2005-01-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

The first week of the sem is over finally. Had a sneak preview of wats going to be like for the rest of the sem and i know i'm going to be dead this sem. Going for lects seem to be wasting time only since i can't understand the language that the lecturer is speaking (stupid indian guy). Went for a seminar that just shows that point that NTU hires weird lecturers.

Whats the use if these lecturers have so much knowledge about the subject but they don't have the ability to pass it on to the students???
Why are we paying so much for such education where at the end of the day, we have to depend on ourselves???

Busy busy busy.... Busy with lectures, Busy with Ge lessons, n mainly cheerleading practise. Time is running out but we dun seem quite ready yet. Our cheer, our dance, our stunts.... We need much much more practise but we r left with 4 daes?? I hope everything will turn out fine on 13th Jan... Lets work hard people~!~

Wed is the relax day tis week, Went to watch Meet the Fockers (at the expense of a stats lecture), went out for sizzler at suntec city, its so cheap (50% off.. hahaha), n Zouk at night, quite fun actually, but my throat just hurts so much that night that i just can't enjoy myself that much... haha...

N 1 more thing... I'm feeling fine now... No more sore throat... No more cough... Thanks for all the Tender Loving Care (Cough syrup, strepsils, liang cha, starfruit juice.. etc) u all have showered me with... so blessed to have u people around...Shall not list the names so that i dun leave out anybody and ppl cannot complain that i'm biased in the order of names listed... hahaha...

A Friend's Love says:
" If you ever need anything, I'll be there."

True Love says:
" You'll never need anything; I'll be there."

Another 365 daes gone...

2005-01-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

2004 have been a good year for me, not that bad at least. The first half of the year was dedicated to the army still, went for afew overseas trip, namely Thailand. And after the Thailand trip was time for me to clear my off and leave and finally, i'm leaving the army after 2 n a half yrs. Life in ATEC wasn't bad, other than having a hokkien boss n always wants alot of things to be done. In the end, who gets the shit?? Its me of coz... But i enjoyed the time there, got to know some good frens (wayne, weixiong, joey etc etc etc.. ), learnt alot of things like how to handle difficult bosses, brushing up my interpersonal skills and working under unreasonable deadlines. Even though i just hate it at times to do all those shitty things but now i realised, it helps in the later part of my life, as in now in sch, during work and everyday life.

During my leave period, i just slack at home everyday n rot, play games, go out, play soccer on suns. Quite shiok at the beginning but soon got tired n sick of it. But still, i din bother to go n find a job. Why do i need to when the army is paying me 1200 every mth for the 4 mths that i'm clearing my leave?? hahaha... I'm just slack...

July was the start of a more eventful month, with the nbs foc n hall foc as the main activities. It was the start of another chapter of my life -- University life. Is was hard to adapt to the lifestyle at first, i mean, who likes to go for lectures and tutorials, do projects, presentations?? My brain feels rusty, always seem to be unable to understand what the lecturers are talking about, dunno how to do the tutorials (lazy to do actually) and unable to write a simple essay. Everybody saes it becoz of the army that made us stupid n of coz i feel its true oso... haha...

Got to know alot of people in the few months here in NTU, feel really fortunate to know u all, esp my nbs og people, people like kianwee, raine, limin, jinfen, zhixiong etc. U people are the ones that make life in uni so much more enjoyable. The late nights, the supper, the overnight talks. Probably thats why i'm not that close with my hall. Or rather maybe i choose not to. hmm... But still, hall 9 people are nice, i'm blessed to be able to find good frens here..I'm starting to have the feeling that prob there's a reason for me to stay in hall 9. If there's going to be something that will keep me staying in hall 9, it has to be U people and nothing else.

Taking exams for the first time in 3 yrs was probably the most horrifying experience for as long as i can rememer. First paper that i took was biz law n i forgot to bring my watch already. I thought maybe still alright as there might be a clock in the exam hall. And yes, there was a clock there but from my seat i can only see a big pillar in front of me and nothing else. The examiner announce '10 mins left' and i realised i have only done slightly more than half the paper. My heart sank, my hands trembled, i wanted to keep on writing but my hands just keeping shaking. I knew it wouldn't make a difference, the 10 mins will never be enough to write anything else so I just gave up... It woke me up, it pushes me to work harder for the rest of the papers n luckily, i made it thru the whole exams.

Sch holidays are meant for us to relax after a sem of hard work n to enjoy ourselves. But how enjoyable can it be when u have to stay in hall for 5 daes a week during the holidays?? Vball trainings, Bridge trainings n cheerleading. So boring man. Did a few part time jobs as well, SITEX show, family festival n guinness event. If not, where does the money comes frm? Even though quite busy with all the hall activities n stuff, still managed to spend some time to do my own things, like JB trip for the shopping n seafood, n Gavi chalet at pasir ris plus gatherings with my sec sch frens and jc frens.

So now its the beginning of a new year, i wish i will be more hardworking this sem (i know it wun work), i wish i can spend more time with the people that i want to, n i wish all my frens to be happy for the new year~!~!~

Gavi chalet.. 27th to 29th Dec 2004..

2004-12-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

Finally, after so long of planning and everything, we finally got the chalet over and done with. It was a success. The response was good, more people turned up than expected, especially the seniors. Everyone had fun during the chalet i guess.. with the mahjong, PS2, card games like heart attack etc... We din go to the escape theme park, we din go to wild wild wet, we din go cycling or rollerblading... Most of our time was spend inside the room and thats enough to keep us entertained for 3 days 2 nights... hahaha...

Its not about the activites that we did but the feeling of having everyone gathered together for the short 3 days that made this chalet so wonderful... Brought me back to those days during the NBS FOC, so much laughter so much fun... Sometimes i just wonder do we realli just know each other for less than half a yr only?? haha... It doesn't feel like it at all.... How i wish i can go thru the orientation camp again with the same group of ppl.. I just love GAVI~!!~

Time passed by veri fast during these few daes and we also dunno when the whole OG will have the chance to meet up again.. Maybe 5, 6 mths later?? Thats so long....

Back in hall now, just after bridge IHG this afternnon n night, hall 9 managed to get into the quaters for tmr. I feel happy for them as well. Hope they will do well again for later matches. I'm feeling so so so seh now already n i seriously need to catch up on my sleep. To my bed now...

A Night Without sleep... Many more to come..

2004-12-27T07:59:00.000+08:00

Went to watch midnight movie(Kungfu hustle) last night. Review: A good show to watch if u needed some laugh. Though alot of the scenes are veri kua zhang, but its just so funny. Couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole show. Its that funny!! Hmm.... the next movie in my mind now-- Meet the fockers. Hope it will be as funny as kungfu hustle.

2nd time i get the chance to enjoy the best night scenery in NTU(Any idea where is it?? haha). Sitting on the grass patch under the tree, counting stars(but no moon), looking at the lights of tuas area, the night is cold but the feeling is just great. So relaxed, so comfortable. Can see a big tower of lights far far away but just couldn't make out what is it. Haha... Suddenly i forgot that i'm actually in campus. Such a common place that we will walk by everyday but just dun notice it. If only every night was like last night..Imagine we can just fall asleep on the grass patch.... No.. cannot.. i still need my sleep... hahaha....

Just came back to my room and writing my blog now. I need some sleep but i can't coz i still have to go home n change up for my chalet which is from todae till wed. The new sem is starting soon, there wun be that much chance to enjoy anymore so i should make full use of it for this last week. So should u guys out there~!~!

My FiRst PoSt.....

2004-12-26T01:40:00.000+08:00

Finally i have a blog!! For what i also dunno, just to pen down my thoughts maybe?? Don't intend to really share this with alot of people coz i'm not one who likes the rest to know what i'm tinking. I prefer the mystery behind everything. If you could tell what a person is thinking all the time, wouldn't it be boring??

Anyway thanks Andrew for creating the whole blog for me (since he wanted me have a blog), i no need to do anything.. haha... I don't understand all the HTML stuff anyway.. But i also not that demanding, at least i never ask andrew to shift everything frm right to left etc etc.. right shu fen?? hahaha...

Ermm... Nothing much to add for this first post. Maybe i will write something more when i'm free.